Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Putting the Fun Back in the Marriage

There are images of marriage scattered throughout our world that encourages its viewers to see married life as this blissful, picture-perfect, Cheshire cat-grinning happy life.  One might begin to take a look at their spouse and then the image of worldly marriage perfection and think, 'Well, I don't have that.' and 'Why is our marriage so unhappy?'

The reality of experiencing those marital ups and downs is not unique to you.  You and your spouse, like all couples, navigate through the ebbs and flows natural to a marriage relationship.  The secret is in the commitment you have to each other and to the relationship.  Stemming from the commitment you make together is the joy of wanting to grow and learn about your partner for life.  When you work together through the hurdles thrown your way, but stand together and appreciate your differences, this charts the course for a committed and even a blissful marriage.

Take, for instance, the individual that has been smoking for years.  Perhaps a health scare or a concerned family member prompted the person to quit smoking.  While those prompts might have encouraged the individual to think of quitting, the fact remains that those outside efforts would not have caused the smoker to quit until he or she actually decided, within themselves, to stop the habit of smoking.  In this same vein, you can also start the chain effect of deciding to enjoy  your partner and to enjoy your marriage.

Possibly you are muttering to yourself that you do not know your spouse and the idea of deciding to enjoy your marriage seems more like an impossibility.  My question to you is, have you truly made the decision to enjoy your marriage?  Just like the term for a game of cards when you choose to 'go all in', have you fully invested of yourself and decided to 'go all in'?  This might mean experiencing some discomfort when your knee-jerk reaction would be to give up.  It might mean displaying greater patience despite the urge to throw in the towel.  But, if you never commit within yourself to 'go all in', and you continue to do what you have always done, then you will get the same return that you have always gotten.

The fun that was mentioned will also work most effectively if you choose to avoid the rut of the same routine. Perhaps dinner and a movie is your go-to choice for a date night or possibly you have not had a date night for as long as you can remember.  Put some action behind your words and change your routine.  These changes do not have to be more costly or time consuming.  Some of the best ideas are born from trying a new activity together.  Have you ever canoed?  How about a snorkeling lesson?  Maybe you always go away for a vacation so you could spice it up by having a stay-cation and cooking a gourmet meal together.  Take a look at the restaurant in town which offers a new cuisine that you both have never tried.

Capture fifteen to twenty uninterrupted minutes to slow down and appreciate the one with which you made a commitment.  You may know your partner's every quirk but 'knowing' him or her is a lifelong venture that needs regular attention.  Change may start with you, but it is a start and the rewards are plentiful.  

No comments:

Post a Comment